Chapter 1:      The Shock, The Disbelief, The Horror 

Chapter 2:      Re-writing the Script 

Chapter 3:     Trapped in an Agonising Storm of Emotions 

Song for Kristian by Carsten Emil Bates, Kristian’s brother

Chapter 4:      Wearing a Mask 

Chapter 5:      Resisting or Craving Physical Contact 

Chapter 6:      Grieving in Your Own Way and Own Time  

Chapter 7:      Referring to Your Child as “The Body” 

Chapter 8:      The Day of the Funeral and After

Chapter 9:      The Family’s Grief 

Chapter 10:    Bizarre Thoughts, Actions and Secrets

Chapter 11:    Memory Triggers: Sights, Sounds, Smells, Possessions

Chapter 12:    The Inquest

Chapter 13:    Handling Insensitivity from Others

Chapter 14:    Firsts of Everything

Chapter 15:    The Domino Effect

Chapter 16:    Re-focusing Your Energies on the Living

Chapter 17:    Dispelling Suicide Myths

Chapter 18:    Professional Views 

Chapter 19:    Life after Death 

Chapter 20:    Coping Strategies

Chapter 21:    The Years Ahead 

Chapter 22:    Inspirational Thoughts

Chapter 23:    Hope, Laughter and Music

Chapter 24:    Recommended Books and Resources

Chapter 25:    Kristian’s Story 


Poem for Kristian by Lauren Erica, aged 9, Kristian’s sister

The White Dove Project

“Writers shouldn't fear criticism. Instead, they should fear silence. Criticism is healthy. It gets people thinking about your work and, even better, it gets them talking and arguing. But as for silence -- it is the greatest killer of writers. So if you hate a book and want to hurt it -- don't talk about it. And if you hate my books -- please, for God's sake, shout it from the hills! ” 

©Robert Fanney

©Jan Andersen 2009 - 2023

All rights reserved

Image ©Jan Andersen 2013, Norway
Chasing Death: 
Losing a Child to Suicide

ISBN: 978-1-905399-44-4
Publisher: Perfect Publishers Ltd
Pages: 488

ISBN 978-1-905399-45-1 (E-book) £4.44

£3 from the sale of every hard copy of the book is being donated to CALM, (Campaign Against Living Miserably), an award-winning charity dedicated to preventing male suicide.